LIFE FOR UNILAG MASSCOMM

 There is only one centre of excellence in the university of Lagos...mass comm dept. if u do not believe, go and die. If your department get library or multi-media display board, or auditorium, or 6 sub-departments you will come and explain very soon.

As you step into my department, you cannot but notice our able Mr martins. After him, na him, before him na still him. Have you seen porter wey get mouth pass president before?, na Mr martins be that o. Although he 4ucks up some times, his head is still there. How can I forget my able Mr Osabor...big and stocky. The continent he came from, we no understand till date. As per promotion now, we no dey too see him. But seriously, we miss his ghanian-sierra-leone/liberian accent.....lmao....all join.

Something just struck my mind, our on point staff room, just by the toilet. You see Dr Soji Alabi gisting with Mr Teslim Lawal and somtimes Dr Adepoju  Tejumaiye.  Sometimes we wonder if Mr Taiwo is in the room at all "just saying". Our memorable print laboratory which is supposedly out of bounds to students. We have forgiven them sha just because of Mr Adams. The man dey limp but Mr martins no get swags reach am.

How can I forget our lecturer's cubicle in d name of offices. If you mistakenly turn your head in Mr popoola and Dr. Amobi’s office, be sure to land in medical centre as your precious head will hit a wall.....go and do ur medicals, all ye stubborn students! 

The broadcast studio manager, that one go dey do like say he get choko for head....we be one treat em fuck up one time like dat, but we kon realise sey we no fit, sey na only mouth we get.

Let's move to the back of our department which is dominated by our one and only mama masscomm. At the sight of her pretty face, you will be filled even without buying egg roll. Wetin we fit do? We sha won't go on hunger strike "only the smart ones will understand".

Sometimes, she is nice, sometimes you just don't wana cross her path. You will hear stuffz like "I no get change o", "drop ur money for carton, com bak for change", "crackers is two for 25naira oo". Wetin man pikin fit do? She is still our mama masscomm. Abi una tink sey na beans make person dey see caprisonne buy for university.

When frying her egg roll, she doesn't joke with sanitising her hands wit her"work skirt" after answering nature's call. We still love her like dat.

Now to the photocopy spot....Mama yemisi's exact job, nobody knws. Broda wale and mama tope are always hustling for customers. The only problem I have with the pretty robust woman is that her girl's pancake is always staining our photocopies. Must mama tope be the one to laminate our dockets every year? story for the gods.

If aunty Grace is typing, looking at her fingers is synonymous to fainting. You must surely get dizzy....she is too good. The new development now is that we now have a female cobbler. If I say masscomm is the best now, you will all b "yinmuing".

I have a personal problem with the new noodles nd toastbread spot. Did they say they should never wash the outer part of that noodles pot? They will use hands to rearrange eggrolls for show glass,kon put nylon for hand whenever dey won sell. Who is deceiving who?

I have nothing to say about d new masscomm building. I sha knw dat  1 day,dey will open it. The only positive thing about it is that, you will always find Stine Okey (So called Vice-President) lurking around there looking for a babe to jam.

MCSA executives of life. Our only punishment is that this year, most of them are"down to earth" especially the guys, u knw wot I mean.eg....Ola...Figo....Lanre, Ranti  wey manage tall, his strong face can abort a baby. Ola forget passmark o, but our president too gentle, na to dey change footwear he sabi. Who change shoe pass 4 him nd lanre, na Google go still rectify it. Ola, you and all those babes, smh, we dey see your parole wey u think say dey coded o!

That Lanre go dey do like Alinco up and down. How he take know English na only God knows. He speaks Yoruba pass Alfa communicating with his other Alfas...Lolz. Can someone help us tell Figo to stop carrying school bag up and down,no be only him get laptop. Me self get, Jumia never deliver am ni. Lanre ntie hs size is d size of his car....won’t say more than that. Precious,"lips r sealed".

Lanre for Mass Comm’s (2015). Masscomm students, I don’t think we deserve two consecutive short Presidents, one Pepsi, one Fanta....lmao. Stop wondering if I am part of the executives or not....Uno fit know

You see all dis year one students, dey just enter kon scatter department, dem no won gree at all. Love nd her friends go dy shake yansh up nd down, dia is God oooo. Daniel always busy, nd he is no longer d class rep self, I tire o! Joseph go dey form macho up and down as if sey em fit beat all of us. You see that Bukunmi, na everybody she know. Sewa ntie, her ikebe na die. Don’t wori am nt in 100level.

200level.....:mmm "clears throat".  Ayo class rep, we don’t know if his glasses should be on his nose, because why the nose is always lookin up to heaven is still a question for d gods. Whether it is Funke or Jumoke Mako likes,we are confused. We all know Emeka is always restless and Muiz is always saying shit.

Parole is always doing parole up nd down. Wale and Tayo are always making noise, although them don calm down this semester. If I dnt mention our vocabularistic alfa, I knw say u go sue me. He knws how to blow our mind away with nonsensical ideologies. 200level DE students bin dEy form badoo, results don dEy show dem when! *ntoi*.

Charles our psycho guy know book die, Chiamaka self don dey fear, but as Karima don get 75 three times now, Charles nd chiamaka must to bow. U must b tinkin am a DE student, they tink goooo!

Coker Damilola noise maker. U might be so sure am in 200l now(woteva). Don’t mess around with Taiwo our socks girl, she go yab u flat. The thinnest girl between Anu, Esther, Feyi and Helen is still a matter for debate. If I no mention your name, no vex. I cannot com and die.

300 level, their girls too dey form. Msca program, dem no go com, Communication for Christ (CFC) fellowship, mba. Where dey stand, Osabor still dey try figure am out, but Popoola say him go find the answer inside specialised reporting volume 2. Must Figo be wit Esther/Josephine always? Those girls go soon fight sha! Must Rasaq always dress like power rangers? Must Lanre form Badoo all d tym,must Kelechi be seen with Ayomide and Adeyemo all d time? Una sha don finish newspaper production....am suspecting u guys. Mary ntie her face don turn gold,to see her you must buy ticket. 300level go for cfc fellowship and male Pastor Emmanuel go dey happy I no kuku blame her. Margaret gimme annointing, I want to get A's this semester. Yetunde out of make up and school, choose one. Never mind. Am not in 300level either.

For 400l I sha knw sey girls dey trip for Tobi but dey will never confess. I also knw sey diploma students just finish jupeb exam. Be ryt back after ds commercial break.dnt b shocked,na only my own ryt up fit get commercial break for d whole of Unilag.

‘MCSA WEEK is coming, make una  participate. At least dey try. Dem buy TV for una reception. Communication for Christ (CFC) chairs are not meant for ghosts, attend.

ASL Tutorial is on for all 100, 200 and 300 Level Students of the department. Dem no dey beg person. 3rd class and pass is real.

UNILAG HUB and UNILAG PAROLE  BLOG  no go finish ur mb...let's support our own!

Yetunde is a makeup artist, if Uno knw, na em u don dey hear so

Support aAlfa, follow him to the mosque. Help Figo’s ministry, stop giving him your assignments to do, his gp is at stake. Jospeh, Ayo, Abdul and Sylvia’s pocket money don finish, pay ur class dues.’

Welcome back....If you nid any girls picture in masscomm, contact Stine Okey’s phone" just saying". 

Lecturer wey fit shout without Mike, contact Tejumaiye. 

The direct opposite na Mr Taiwo.

For daily prayers-Pastor Popoola.

For online assignments-Dr. Amobi

If u like wear nonsense to d dept, let Mrs Joy-Rita catch u.

If u want to pass statistics and data analysis, contact Mr Richard.

Dnt know wot to write again, wud get bak to u guys though...remember if u are not in masscomm, u r on a long tin!

SIGNED:

ANONYMOUS